Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Mottoes

My longtime mottoes are "Volume, volume, volume" and "I'm not as stupid as I look." I've worked up a new motto: "I don't get mad; I get -- OK, I just get mad."

I'd use "Trust me; I know what I'm doing," but that's already taken.

'Vanishing Bride'

When I obtained my marriage license in June 1979, I was handed a pack of gifts. I think I got some sanitary napkins as part of the deal. I know I got a book titled "Vanishing Bride."

In "Vanishing Bride," the heroine gets on the wrong flight -- a good thing because the plane that she'd meant to take, from Nice to Paris, disintegrates. When Marion makes it home, she hears her husband tell his secret sister that he's ecstatic over his wife's demise. The girl was too clinging. And after all, Stanni had married her only for the money and had been defrauding her father's perfume company almost from the beginning. Luckily, Stanislaus turns out to be a bigamist, so the marriage is easily dissolved.

What uplifting reading for women about to take on a husband! I keep running into the book in thrift stores, and I now own at least three copies.

I'm still married to the guy I wedded on Bloomsday almost three decades ago.