A useful story

In late 1996, I wasted a lot of time typing up one of my favorite stories by Saki (H.H. Munro). It didn't occur to me until shortly afterward that I could just get it off the Web.

Here's how "The Lost Sanjak" begins:

The prison Chaplain entered the condemned’s cell for the last time, to give such consolation as he might.

‘The only consolation I crave for,’ said the condemned, ‘is to tell my story in its entirety to some one who will at least give it a respectful hearing.’

‘We must not be too long over it,’ said the Chaplain, looking at his watch.

The condemned repressed a shiver and commenced.

‘Most people will be of an opinion that I am paying the penalty of my own violent deeds. In reality I am a victim to a lack of specialization in my education and character.’

‘Lack of specialization!’ said the Chaplain.

‘Yes. If I had been known as one of the few men in England familiar with the fauna of the Outer Hebrides, or able to repeat stanzas of Camoëns’ poetry in the original, I should have had no difficulty in proving my identity in the crisis when my identity became a matter of life and death for me. But my education was merely a moderately good one, and my temperament was of the general order that avoids specialization. I know a little in a general way about gardening and history and old masters, but I could never tell you off-hand whether “Stella van der Loopen” was a chrysanthemum or a heroine of the American War of Independence, or something by Romney in the Louvre.’

The Chaplain shifted uneasily in his seat. Now that the alternatives had been suggested they all seemed dreadfully possible.

Saki runs wild in the rest of his tale. Genius.