Workers meekly eat what they're fed
(Sunday, Dec. 24, 2000)
It's not good form to look a gift meal in the mouth. Show me free food and I'll usually follow it anywhere. For any crumb that comes my way, be it ever so humble, I'll gratefully yelp: "Please, sir, I want some more."
Usually. But put me in the place of Bob Cratchit, and I'll be the one snarling and barking "Bah, humbug" at such goodies as my hapless employer brings to the table.
I'm not as cynical as I once was. Back in the last century, in months when News-Leader employees had been good, we were treated to a Wednesday cookout of hamburgers and hot dogs, plus squeezy-soft white-bread buns, sweet and gooey potato salad and perhaps even some oily potato chips thrown in for good measure. My vile theory? That our bosses were doing their malnutritional best to cut short our retirement years.
How ungenerous of me! We haven't had one of those little celebrations in a good, long time; no doubt the company is struggling with severe guilt over its food failures of old.
Oddly enough, I was almost alone in my outrage. We had no picket lines, no angry mobs of bedraggled workers shouting "Give me nutrition or give me death!"
Perhaps they're all too weak from lack of decent food. Heck, my sheeplike co-workers rarely complain about our invariable year-end bonus -- a small turkey or a smaller ham.
I was finally going to take a stand! But when, in a fit of meatless pique, I threatened to resurrect the long-dormant Suggestion Box and lodge a protest, one of my superiors nearly wept in horror and begged me: "Don't do it, Alison! Next year, we might get nothing at all!"
Would that be so bad? Let's show some backbone, darn it! Sometimes less is more -- and nothing is most. Take last week's newsroom Christmas meal (please!). The fare was hardly calculated to give some of us needed protein or give anyone a surfeit of vitamins. The one redeeming feature was the mashed potatoes.
So here's my rallying cry for the overfed and undernourished. Workers of the Ozarks, unite! Let us all demand this glorious menu next year: Peanut, Tofu and Sesame Soup; Wheat Germ Loaf; Dandelion Salad; and Elegant Yogurt Compote.
And for our bonus? A tastefully decorated tin of soy nuts. Talk about comfort and joy. No, don't thank me.
It's not good form to look a gift meal in the mouth. Show me free food and I'll usually follow it anywhere. For any crumb that comes my way, be it ever so humble, I'll gratefully yelp: "Please, sir, I want some more."
Usually. But put me in the place of Bob Cratchit, and I'll be the one snarling and barking "Bah, humbug" at such goodies as my hapless employer brings to the table.
I'm not as cynical as I once was. Back in the last century, in months when News-Leader employees had been good, we were treated to a Wednesday cookout of hamburgers and hot dogs, plus squeezy-soft white-bread buns, sweet and gooey potato salad and perhaps even some oily potato chips thrown in for good measure. My vile theory? That our bosses were doing their malnutritional best to cut short our retirement years.
How ungenerous of me! We haven't had one of those little celebrations in a good, long time; no doubt the company is struggling with severe guilt over its food failures of old.
Oddly enough, I was almost alone in my outrage. We had no picket lines, no angry mobs of bedraggled workers shouting "Give me nutrition or give me death!"
Perhaps they're all too weak from lack of decent food. Heck, my sheeplike co-workers rarely complain about our invariable year-end bonus -- a small turkey or a smaller ham.
I was finally going to take a stand! But when, in a fit of meatless pique, I threatened to resurrect the long-dormant Suggestion Box and lodge a protest, one of my superiors nearly wept in horror and begged me: "Don't do it, Alison! Next year, we might get nothing at all!"
Would that be so bad? Let's show some backbone, darn it! Sometimes less is more -- and nothing is most. Take last week's newsroom Christmas meal (please!). The fare was hardly calculated to give some of us needed protein or give anyone a surfeit of vitamins. The one redeeming feature was the mashed potatoes.
So here's my rallying cry for the overfed and undernourished. Workers of the Ozarks, unite! Let us all demand this glorious menu next year: Peanut, Tofu and Sesame Soup; Wheat Germ Loaf; Dandelion Salad; and Elegant Yogurt Compote.
And for our bonus? A tastefully decorated tin of soy nuts. Talk about comfort and joy. No, don't thank me.
posted by aparker54 at 5:41 AM
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